I have the emotional depth of a newborn orangutan, so I basically run around 97% of the time flinging poo grinning like an idiot and being completely oblivious to the troubles of the world. Much like that baby orangutan though, every once in a while
shit gets real and I get in a funk about something (i.e. running out of bananas) and decide it’s a FABULOUS idea to go do something positive (running) instead of something negative (tequila shots.)
Wrong. So wrong.
Without fail, these runs are horrible. Every. Single. Time. I never learn. Case in point:
Sophomore year of college, I had my first real “breakup.” Cue the sad violins. So I decided to run a few miles and stock up on some endorphins right as the “Midnight Madness” late night basketball game at my school was ending. The streets around campus were full of traffic (keep in mind it’s 11 or so at night) and I had a nice big audience when I caught my toe in a crack on the sidewalk and went FLYING forward and landed flat on my face. So I rolled over and laid there for a second, bleeding like a stuck pig, pondering life and how far I had fallen (both literally and metaphorically.) Embarrassing, right? I thought the worst was over while I slowly stood up and started limping off, when A POLICE CAR PULLS OVER WITH THEIR LIGHTS ON IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND TRIES TO GIVE ME FIRST AID. And then I hit up the closest bar.
Today’s run wasn’t nearly as bad as that, but I just don’t think I’ll ever be one of those people who runs better when they’re angry or upset. My pace is always off, I can never seem to relax, and the run always seems tortuously long, whether it’s 3 miles or 10. On the flip side, if I’m in a really good mood my runs tend to be magical and perfect and at lightning speed. It’s just the craziest thing…
Do you use runs as a stress reliever? Does that work out better for you than it does for me?
Anyone have some good embarrassing stories so I can laugh at you instead of myself?
Wine > Running
As for my weekend update, it really was a good one! I definitely have no reason to be in a funk… I spent all of it surrounded by friends and family, and had a few random unexpected phone calls that just kind of came at the right time. It’s funny how that happens sometimes.
Saturday morning, I ran a 5k with my parents aka my only friends.
Yes, I only own one running jacket because I live in Texas and it is only cold 4 days a year here. Also, this is not a picture I would use on a online dating website. My hair has seen better days.
In retrospect, the excessive amounts of coffee I consumed pre-run wasn’t one of my better ideas. Let’s just say it wasn’t one of my better races either.
As a result of having no friends, I have to employ unusual methods for finding new amigos. One of my most successful methods thus far has been making friends at funerals. When you think about it, it just makes sense. Black is slimming, for one, and also it’s pretty easy to be the happiest, most charming little social butterfly at funerals because everyone there tends to be pretty sad. I AM JUST KIDDING I AM NOT REALLY THAT INSENSITIVE.
Seriously though, I ran into a cousin I hadn’t seen since I was a wee little FriendlyRunner at the funeral who was nice enough to invite me and Pippa over to eat dinner and meet his wife and kiddos. They might have been the coolest family I have ever met, they fed me steak. and Pippa had her first experience trying to climb on a jungle gym (just picture her trying to get to me and holding on with her little doggy elbows to a high metal rung…that really happened. Whoops.).
Time to go do important things like wax my eyebrows and pack my lunches for the week. As always, thanks for taking to time to stop by here to say hey to little old me. Have a great week friends!
Who’s that creepy little puppy?!?
-Steph & The Pipster